The trick was to listen to the man first, which made him trust McManus enough to divulging the information. This is also a great chance to improve your listening skills by practicing not talking.īarry McManus is a CIA interrogator who got a Pakistani nuclear scientist to confess he knew Osama Bin Laden after 9/11 just by listening to him. If it’s too much to try this with strangers, you can do it with your close relatives that you want to get to know better. If you want to get better at being curious, practice talking with people.Ĭome up with a list of questions and then strike up random conversations but focus on asking people about themselves. I’ve got a similar desire, but I wasn’t always this way. He’s not doing it because he needs to investigate them, but rather to fill his insatiable curiosity. When in hotels, he’ll visit the bar just to find someone to get to share their story with him. One retired FBI hostage negotiator is so curious that he can’t help but go ask random people about themselves. But people really love when I ask follow-up questions that show that I’m listening. I’ve got my regular list that I ask people that makes it easier. Everybody’s got a story and each is so unique and interesting. I love asking people questions about themselves. Lesson 2: If you want better communication skills, you need to learn to be curious about people. The author spoke to some of the best listeners in the world to see how to do it right, and the result is this amazing book. That’s why the skill of listening will really set you apart because it will show people that you really care. The average attention span is less than those of goldfish now. This is the problem with our world, we’re so engrossed in broadcasting ourselves in social media that we don’t know how to listen. Which, I’ve found out, is what people really want from us. The first thing you do is ask a question! I wanted to repeat that, but I also wanted to listen. You don’t just go up to someone and show them a picture of your lunch. Social media just isn’t designed the way that real communication works, quite the opposite in fact. I told him what I tell everyone I talk to about this. I recently ran into a friend who brought up how much he enjoyed them, so I began again. Then I got busy and had to put it on hold. I was reconnecting with friends I hadn’t spoken to in years, and we were all loving it. I wanted to get to know them better rather instead of just posting what I’d had for lunch like everyone else.Īfter a while, I started getting quite a few people answering. I realized that many of these online acquaintances were my real friends and family that I rarely see in person. At first, it was an experiment to see how I could better connect with people. If you want to save this summary for later, download the free PDF and read it whenever you want.ĭownload PDF Lesson 1: Really hearing what others are saying is a rare and valuable skill that will set you apart from the rest of the world.Ī while ago I asked a question on Facebook every day. To become a good listener, you need to get better at asking the right questions.Īre ya ready kids? I can’t heeeeear you! Just kidding, let’s dive right in!.Developing a natural curiosity about others is a vital step to improving your communication skills.If you want to really stand out in today’s world, stop talking about yourself and learn to hear what others are saying.Here are 3 of my favorite lessons from this book: This dying art has the potential to skyrocket your success and happiness at work and in all relationships. That’s why you need to listen to what Kate Murphy has to say in You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters. It’s powerful not only in business but in making every individual that you meet feel like the special person that they are. Listen to the audio of this summary with a free reading.fm account*:ĭo you know what habit 5 is of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People ? It’s “seek first to understand then to be understood.” That book was 30-years-old in 2019, and this habit is still my favorite and one that we all need to get better at. The 21 Best Books of 2021 (Fiction & Nonfiction).
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